real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Randomize
