Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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