i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
