I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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