I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
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You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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