Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My penis needs a shock collar
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
