you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
