there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
is that a dick in a sweater?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize