i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
