I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
