i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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