This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
They took my balls.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize