Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
