take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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