I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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