He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
