If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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