So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
pray to the hookup gods
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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