Cold hands, warm shart.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.