So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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