What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
