Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
