I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
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just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
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I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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