he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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