You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
