The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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