I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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