Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
