i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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