I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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