I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
