just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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