I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
