I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it was like eating out sand paper
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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