i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
