I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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