One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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