love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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