I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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