fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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