All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
