I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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