He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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