As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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