How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
