I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
