does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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