he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
