Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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