he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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