Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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