Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
