my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
