What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You ruined the universe
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