Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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