the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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