You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
