Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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