Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
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They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
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Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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