i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Watching her eat just hurts me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When are your genitals available?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
