it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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