I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
