went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
