who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
